2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
