Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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