Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
