Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
