i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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