Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You are the jesus of drinking
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
