if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
