You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
