I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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