I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
