She's JV to your varsity
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
