i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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