with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
