we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
