You really coming over, don't trick.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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