News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
