Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The power of my boobs compel you
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize