life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
