my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
