I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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