May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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