Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
