I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
