As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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