ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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