I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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