matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
