Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
