When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize