I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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