also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
