I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
