Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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