she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
