I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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