Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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