did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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