She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize