I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
