it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
