turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
