Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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