Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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