Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
