Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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