There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
