I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
