so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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