I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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