if i died would you start the facebook group?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
