It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
love makes seman taste better
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
