You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
