dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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