So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
