a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
