i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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