addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
