Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
