Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
